생일축하합니다 Jessica!!!

(I still don't believe any strangers read this blog, but if you do, excuse this personal message of love and just enjoy the numerous photos included herein)

DAMN MY INTERNET CONNECTION - SORRY IT'S LATE :(

If I had sent you a card, here's what would have been written inside:

"Really glad I found you girl
You surely better my world
Your so damn fine, that's word! - One of a kind, ya heard?
To the end we'll go, you'll see
Love is all for you and me, yeah..."

Yeodongsang, my beloved Jessica, it is your birthday today and even though we are on opposite sides of the world, and neither of us are with our beating hearts in Korea I wanted to throw you a hypothetical K-pop laden birthday party of your dreams. Unfortunately my fluctuating internet connection has other ideas and so it has become somewhat abridged, but please use your imagination to fill out the rest.

The guest list would include the previously mentioned "come of age day celebration party guestlist" as well as the obvious candidates including (but not limited to) all of BIG BANG, SHINee, BEAST, 2PM, 2AM, MBLAQ, and of course recent acquisitions Teen Top. (you may question my inclusion of ALL members of the groups, I know you don't want Yeosob interfering when you're trying to have a deep and meaningful moment with DooJoon, but its so that they can perform their hits for you, although i'm not sure about all of Super Junior because maybe we don't have enough chairs) Girlfriends (as in yours, not as in for the boys!!! of course!) would be represented by 2NE1, BoA (with a special jpop birthday song for you), HyunA and perhaps Jung Joori.

Girls would arrive first as usual, help you choose an outfit whilst 2NE1 give you a personal rendition of "Let's Go Party", they would bestow you with a generous amount of smokin hot k-pop fashions

"My heart's fluttering, It's already the 8th time I've changed my clothes, I brushed my hair several times, And I'm only looking at the mirror .... There's still a lot of time left, But what was I so nervous about? I'm half worried, half excited, But I know that it's on"

and pretty soon you'd be in the party mood, "Let's go party, now work that body!" and then the guests would start to arrive:

Taeyang would be so delighted with your recent review that his eye smiles would all just become one long endless eye smile. You'd open the door and he'd be there beaming, brandishing a big giant bunch o' roses for you, pink not red 'cause you guys are friends not lovers right!?:

GD would bestow you with multiple gifts (most likely some questionable accessories..), he'd be dressed in his best and perform a special rap with attitude just for you, I'm pretty sure he'd refer to you as J-dragon in the rap, and there would be multiple references to being his lady, being his shawty, "taking his hand", him "giving you what you need"and "giving it to you straight up and down" (giving GIFTS of course..) when you thought he'd spoiled you in every way possible he'd be waiting for your attention whilst having transformed into adorable bed head cutesy Jiyong clutching an oversized teddy bear gift:

T.O.P would offer everything GD did and more, midway through your special birthday rap recital he would remove his sunglasses and give you an extra special eyebrow twitch, it would without a doubt be the most erotic experience of your lifetime. There would be many more birthday treats in store for you in your own special VIP birthday after party for two, but as for material gifts: "John galliano, Dior, Louis vuitton, Kris Vanassche, YSL, Dolce & gabbana, Givenchy, Alexander McQueen" anything you want babe, and of course Dom Perignon Pink:

2PM & 2AM would show up with Jay Park and no issue would be made of it (what a birthday gift that would be! like peace on earth!) I think they would all be decked out in their springtime best for you, bowties, waistcoats and boat shoes, with lots of buttoned shirts, and ever so slightly messy bowl cuts, although beastly brooding guyliner look could be requested. Of course Jo Kwon would make some kind of spectacular entrance:

Junho & Taec spend the day working on a cake together, just for you:

I cannot stop looking at junho's face here, although taec here is also mesmerising

CN Blue would arrive in co-ordinating suits brandishing a cake topped with tiny sugar replicas of themselves (i'm not sure why one of them is playing a keyboard but just let it go this time)

Despite his unfailing cuteness, you may choose to slam the door in the face of Sungmin and his over the top strawberry monstrosity (i'll leave it up to you whether im talking about the hair or the cake), although if we can find him a suitable hat i'm sure he could be allowed to enter, providing he sits at the opposite end of the table:

I debated as to whether or not to include this one, it does seem to lower the tone a little..

Pre Minho injury I would have arranged for SHINee to burst out of a giant cake debuting their wild new look and give your party the very first performance of their new single. Since Minho would probably be wheelchair bound with his leg cast, you'll have to settle with a fabulous Key dance, poppin Taeminnie, and some of the Onew/Jonghyun double act.

By this time you would have more boys and cakes than you know what to do with, it's possible you might have to dodge the seemingly Korean tradition of getting your face smooshed into your cake (as Rain demonstrates so beautifully here), but I wonder if, like me, you hate the notion of other people smearing food on your face or messily feeding you (honestly I HATE it, I'm not even sure if the tables were turned I could let MBLAQ try and feed me ice cream blindfolded - although I have no problem with being the blindfoldee) so rather than fend of an over excited Bang Mir trying to thrust some frosting your way I would have made it clear before hand that they are only to cake each others faces (whilst you could just sit merrily and applaud). To demonstrate , here's one of my favourite examples from Seungho's birthday:

Please notice how ever hungry Seungho (I have seen him eating with TWO sets of chopsticks on more than one occasion..) cut his own cake whilst holding a half eaten banana in his other hand:
To cut a long story short (sorry!), there would be k-boys galore, club bangers, charm appeals, dance offs, maybe even that "thrust off" we've been waiting for, a million gifts, a million cakes and it would all end up with a giant sleepover. It would be the most wonderful hypothetical birthday party there ever was, and if I wasn't in danger of this becoming my first fanfiction novella (or losing my internet connection) I could have carried on elaborating for another 10 days.

Oh but of course we would capture the memories forever with a gazillion photographs,
here's you and 2PM posing with a few cakes:

Notice Junho is by your side, Taec and Chan snuggling up close behind you, Khun and Wooyoung at a modest distance but near enough and R Kelly is a good foot away.

Happy Birthday dearest!

I'd like to think at least part of this came true for you, even if its just the cake part.

PS. I felt like I didn't use nearly enough GIF's so here you go:

- BUNNY