GD is my temporary secretary

Having had some exceptional interview X interviewee dialogue brought to my attention today (thank you Alice!), I just couldn't resist making a note of it here, and then sharing something else with you that I have been mulling over and contemplating in my head all day long.

First means first, Taemin, bless your mind, body and soul babes. You have made me as happy as a lamb, as happy as the time I first heard that T.O.P. likes Nine Inch Nails! Who knew!

Q: Now that you are past your first and second albums, what styles of music or concepts would you like to experiment with in future albums that you have not had a chance to do yet?

Onew: I want to try band music.

Taemin: I want to try something like Linkin Park. It seems really stress relieving.

Key: Definitely not trot music (Korean folk music).

Full interview here

Seriously, please, just try it. Go ahead boys, if it goes wrong I won't be mad, not one little bit. I just insist on a music video to accompany, please. Maybe a look like this though, more glam rock than nu metal:

See, even your Big Bang sunbae's know it's worth a go...

Onew pretty much already has it down to be fair (with a little help from "Foreigner"). But I feel he can go further than this:

*****************

But now, to the real reason for my post. I cannot and will not get G-Market, the new G-Dragon CF song, out of my head. It will not budge, and I sure as hell don't want it to. If this is any indicator of what is to come on the new Big Bang album then I am already beside myself, delusionally happy!

All the way from ur head, shoulders knees and toes, knees and toes

Gmarket, Gmarket, Party (aauuu...)

Honestly, it may be the most commercial song in the whole entire music making industry but frankly I couldn't care less! I love it. And this is without even a proper video. There are so many fantastic songs that this reminds me of. But most of all it would have to be this:

Temporary Secretary by none other than Mr. Paul McCartney!

That's not to mention the Hammer time at the start too! Oh Captain G! Captain G Sparrow!! And the hats. So many fabulous hats!! This one really reminds me of Austrian yodelling:


Which in turn, reminds me of Hyunseung also with his milkmaid hat in the new BEAST teaser for Lights go on again.


And both of these remind me of the one and only Rain yodel scene from I'm a cyborg but that's ok. (you can watch it here)

But the main moral of my story is still, it ain't nuthin' but a G thang!

"He was dubbed by Korean media as the next Rain..."

And I'd say that there is some validity in this statement, Ki Kwang.

What a wonderful young man he is, all 20 years of him. I'd fairly say that he delights me on an equivocal level to Rain. How could he not, with such a mulitfaceted personality. I wont go into it in depth here, but after study of his in MTV B2ST and MTV BEAST Almighty along with other things, he is no one trick pony.

He is, at the very least, both infinately adorable

and unabashedly sexual

Really he ticks all the boxes. When an idol gets his own 'free time', though on camera it may be, I think I can safely say they are few and far between that desire most to cycle along the riverbank alone as he does. Dreamboat central. And he never once comes across as big headed or conceited, even though he has already had (though it was short lived) a solo career (as AJ), is clearly the most attractive memeber in BEAST and is the only one to also be acting, in the successful High kick through the roof.

This setting the scene, I am always pleased for him to pop up in my google reader, and today was certainly no exception to that rule. Cue SEXY DANCE so titled video:

Really, I love it when video titles don't lie.

So yes, SEXY DANCE it is. The funny thing is that it starts off with Rain's Love Song of course. How else better to commence a sexy segment. And this is what brought the Rain comparative to mind. But really, here I think he is merely getting his mind in gear for what is soon to come - the latter showcased ‘American style’ pelvic dance. Oh yes. Ki Kwang is no stranger to the pelvic thrust as you have already seen, but this is to another level i'd say.

As i said then, the Love Song debut is short yet sincere. Note here before we get carried away the use of a perfectly charming neck-tied scarf. This is the kind of accessorising I love, none of that studded collar jazz.

This sincerity of feeling is soon to be re-worked a la Chris Brown for what I will call 'Phase two' though. Look at him go. Dropping straight to the floor only to rise up for the delivery of multi-directional impassioned thrusts - he changes just like that! "I hope you're ready baby cuz here we go." - thank you for the lyrical warning Chris, just in time for the floor thrust section. If only it wasn't intercut with so much audience response. To finish up round two, a gentle wipe on the motuh and some spirit fingers.

'Phase three' then, where not only his sexual qualities are displayed, but his comical ones too. Meet Kwang the jovial tyke. Maybe not even a tyke, more a fun time boy with wit in equal measure?
Clearly very easily influenced, Kwang is soon up and out of his seat to gently grind and thrust towards the side of his team mate as he performs his own song. What a way to brighten up any dull old ballad. And to then drop down to the floor in his wonderfully high pitched giggly laugh - first phase Kwang joining forces with second and third, a killer combination. Such an array of varying thrusts, and some Rainism 'Otter' shimies thown in too. A perfect variety show segment I'd say. It captures a number of his sides just right.

So, who knows if he will be the next Rain for the whole of Korea. I can only say that for me this could certainly be the case. If we get to the point of him pole dancing in true Rain fashion I will be there, at my new found Rain.

Until then, at least we know that he makes good use of his ridonkulously styled outfits and that he is, more importantly, a shirt ripper.

Xiah Junsu takes the "overtly sexual" route & Rain update.

EDIT* just had to add in this picture of Xiah thighs.

Since their disbandment :( :( :( it's been hard to keep tabs on all the TVXQ boys individual schedules, and to be honest I only have time for contsant favourite Hero Jaejoong and his incomprehensible pixie good looks twinned with his endearing baby dinosaur teeth, such an otherworldly beauty! Hero's been busy with his Japanese drama and much to my delight apparently hanging out with some Johnny's and other Ikimen (dreams can come true!), Mickey's been skirting the line between Good Mickey and Bad Mickey and has a Korean drama in the works, Changmin and Yunho have been have been looking hot at airports, supporting the big bad management company and hanging out with SHINee at someone's wedding. Meanwhile Junsu received some critical acclaim performing in the Mozart musical which I refuse to acknowledge except to say that it was THE WORST HAIR CONCEPT / OVERALL LOOK I HAVE EVER SEEN IN THE WHOLE OF KPOP and it gives me nightmares. Since this he has been working his charms in Japan and released his first solo single there.

Initially I was sort of uninterested. Its not like I don't have enough to be getting on with. Although he's not a favourite, I've always had a soft spot for Xiah's whispery voice, puffy face and computer gaming addiction, but I haven't been the biggest fan of Tohoshinki's vocally powered hits in Japan (If I had it my way they would just keep re releasing Mirotic, Wrong Number and Baloons, on repeat, forever) so I was dubious, but pleasantly surprised and in for a shock...

Junsu seems to channeling the spirit of RAINISM.

... well, at least in terms of outfit choice and lyrical content anyway.

Usually I'd say watch the video first and then read the lyrics, but its important this time that you read the lyrics first and understand what you're letting yourself in for. I'm going to rate them NC-17 so please divert your eyes if you are underage :

Xiah Junsu - INTOXICATION

"I make you shiver a little

By overlapping our skin, it's foreplay,

What my fingertips have found is

deep inside deep inside deep inside crazy

Touch you baby Again and again

I'll squeeze you baby

Let me feel your madness

Stroke your light, girl (?!)

I'll go crazy oh~

Tell me what you want

Let me, do you want me?

You say baby now

I know that you want me oh no

I want to make you say it baby now

Kiss and touch me

Taste and touch me baby

Eat you apart make love

I can touch me

Killing touch me baby

That is intoxication

We start with our fingers, then even our bodies tangle

I keep looking for the secret syrup (!!!YIKES!!!)

Below the soft moonlight that's not turned off

I'm about to come because of your wavering voice

beautiful

Tell me what you want

Tell me, do you want me

You say, baby now

I know that you want me

It's about to overflow baby now

Kiss and touch me

Taste and touch me baby

Like I want to make love

I can touch me

Killing touch me baby

That is intoxication

Kiss and touch me

Taste and touch me baby

Don't tease me making love

I can touch me

Killing touch me baby

You fall in intoxication

Using a way of communicating without words

You're making me go crazy

More, more until I get swallowed completely

Tell me what you want

Tell me, do you want me

Just say, baby now

I know that you want me

I want to make you say it baby now

Tell me what you want

Tell me do you want—"

YIKES. Junsu is somewhat confusing. He wants you to kiss and touch him, but also killing touch him (or in another translation kill, and touch him...) then he says "Tell me what you want Let me, do you want me?, You say baby now, I know that you want me oh no" he also want you to tell him, but he seems to want to tell you, and then he wants you to "communicate without words" which is possibly for the best, if he's going to start telling you to "stroke your light girl" i'm not sure how that would come across in the heat of the moment...

I'm kind of speechless, sexy pop songs are no revelation to me but this is not even trying to be subtle. "this is foreplay" oh right, thanks for making that clear right at the start just so we didn't get the wrong idea or something.

Anyway, now you can watch the video, but try and remember what he's singing about whilst he teases you with his bare shoulders, rubs his hands together in slow motion and gets down on the floor for some thrusting (that bit is so RAIN):

Meanwhile, back in Korea, after giving us the "overtly sexual" Love Song MV, guaranteed to please erotic K-pop King Rain has moved onto promoting "Hip Song", the semi club banger hit from his latest mini album, and believe it or not it seems to actually be a song about dancing, as opposed to dancing as a metaphor for the horizontal, between the sheets kind of dance. So if we compare him to Xiah Junsu's erotic poetry then for once Rain is actually tame in comparison:

"Lay back and clap!

with your chest! Clap!

with your hips! Clap! (That’s right!)

to the left! Clap! (Yeah!)

Hold off the right side and clap with lips! (This lady)

(Although this never happened before but…)

It’s my heart

it’s my body

I’ll catch and cage your faltering heart

I’mma hold onto you, sexy

(I got no problem with that but…)

This is hip song rock tonight

Sway your hips

Don’t worry about whatever I’m doing

Trust me and sway it just like me

(Hip song, hip song, hip song, hip song)"

Rain has spoken. We shouldn't question it, but yet I do have questions, many questions. "I'mma hold onto you, sexy, I got not problem with that but..." BUT WHAT? Rain? I need to know what the "but..." is? it could be something important! finish your damn sentence. I think ive brought this up before but I want to question the appalling attempt at a wolf howl half way through, what possessed you to do this? I imagine GD is literally crying with laughter everytime he hears it, I could even question why you are attempting to rap when everybody was fine with your smooth r & b vibes (myself included and i'm not even even that kind of girl, I just made an exception for you). Finally, this is my big question, you say "don't worry about whatever i'm doing" "trust me" and then you decide to promote your song dressed like this:

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS OPPA?

Rain, I though you were over this. The last time we saw you in boxing gloves it was teamed with a matching visor and it was 2002. Is that really the image you want to evoke again? I actually think this time is worse than the visor, I can't even identify the sports your outfit came from, but im pretty sure a lace up male bolero is not regulation attire. And its not like boxing gloves are even that original, we've all seen the fashion tragedies of 1996 and H.O.T candy legacy. As for the hair in the first picture above, don't ever do that to me again.

Apparently he got some criticisim for copying the look from the late Kim Seong Jae's first and only solo stage back in 1995. So all in all, this wasn't Rain's best idea (and usually he's such a genius, putting a shirtless dance routine in a ballad, creating the perfection that is MBLAQ, all GREAT IDEAS)

Imagine my delight when finally Rain performs Hip Song in a proper suit, no baggy seat pants, no ridiculous sportswear, just a straight up red hot Rainism suit and shades. I'm going to ignore the tie and waistcoat combo is giving off Best Man vibes and this looks like it could be a wedding reception performance (maybe SHINee and ChangHo are there...) and just settle for what i've got. Thank you Rain.

Actually loving these YouTube comments, especially Maysie93 "is this guys name dairy i think ? ?" "whoever tht future women of his will be she wud be sooo lucki 2 have him, cuz if it wazs mee i'd dooo him all..." WHOAH Maysie93 I'm going to stop you there gurl...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

ADDITIONAL EDIT 29/05/10

So I just learned that Xiah is saying "bite and touch me, KILL and touch me" and disappointingly he doesn't say "stroke your light girl" but he does in fact say "stroke you like an arpeggio, yeah"!! even better. Proof from his recent Music Station Performance (loving his flash of agyeo whilst he says "foreplay" at 32secs in)

- BUNNY

Heavy Rain Forecast. Rated R.

A comeback in K-pop is not quite the same thing as a comeback in western music terms, you don't need to go away for any period of inactivity until people forget about you, all you have to do is finish promoting an album or a mini album and then go away for a month or two before you "come back". Its a fast paced world in K-pop with a set formula of : rumours, confirmation, a few images, video teasers, music videos, comeback stages, performances and goodbye stages and they sure know how to whip the fans up into a breathless, drooling, eagerly anticipating frenzy, EVERY SINGLE TIME. Now Rain is possibly the most popular K-pop idol of all, definitely the most famous Korean pop sensation outside of Korea, and he's just starred in a Hollywood film, and its been 2 years since his last album, so when Rain made his comeback this time (OK it was just over a month ago, but this has been on my to do list since then...), it was pretty much a big deal.

As well his singing, dancing, acting and entrepreneurial skill, Rain is the master of self referencing promotion, bordering on egomania. To be fair, he has a catchy name so why not make the most of it? "It's Raining" "Rain's World" "I'm coming" (who's coming? oh RAIN!) and then of course ... my personal favourite ... "RAINISM", Not gonna lie, I did LOL the first time I read that, and then he topped it off by calling his tour "Legend of Rainism" WOW. (and only a year later Lee Minwoo tried to get on the name game with MINNOVATION, its good but its no Rainism...)

This time the album is called "Back to the Basics" and apparently that means no self referencing name puns but a whole lot of under eye fake eyelashes...

For some unknown reason I was totally fine with this look from the start, maybe the hysteria was setting in, but I was just thinking, this is going to be amazing, Rain is amazing, Rainism was amazing, this new album is going to be amazing, fake eyelashes? amazing... then the teaser came out with a "club banger" beat and I thought AMAZING! and then my bloated heart deflated when I saw this:

"Love Song" I scoffed. Where was my "club banger"?? how were the eyelashes going to fit into this?? The K-pop fork in the road leads to two very different places, one way to hip bumping, club thumping, sexy Autotune Party Land where I spend my days frolicking with shirtless idols, mimicking cute dance routines and happily listening to radical KorEnglish raps and then the other way goes to dull dull old BalladsVille, where I rarely ever even raise my head. A moment of panic set in, how could I support Rain Oppa if he's going to BalladsVille?? Luckily for me, Rain has an answer for everything.

Witness the Love Song MV:

You should have just watched it so you might be thinking why the hell would I talk you through it? but you probably can't think straight right now so i'll just remind you. So, the first 1min50secs is pretty straightforward ballad video work with some extra eyelashes and the emo running down the middle of the road. Its just cuts between the happy times flashbacks in the matching white sweaters and then angsty ex boyfriend Rain haunting/stalking the pretty lady with some arm flailing, finger pointing and fist clenching, but after 1min50secs is when it really kicks in...

You see these glittery boots and then... its on...

Rain (like only Rain could) manages to fit a full on hip thrusting, body rolling dance routine into a ballad. Yet its not just any old dance routine, somehow its like the most "overtly sexual" solo slow dance / humping a microphone stand ever recorded on film (at least since the Rainism pole dance at the Korean Film Awards that time..) Maybe its because we all saw his body in Ninja Assassin and know that every muscle of that man is toned to perfection, maybe its because this is Rain and he can bust out the hotness for every occasion, maybe its because its so exaggerated its almost obscene and you think what the hell am I watching? but then you just can't look away and he just keeps going and OH GOD RAIN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?! and also, WHY AM I LIKE THIS?? Seriously, I was never one for body worship, I never used to like buff guys, how come these days you have me squealing at the sight of your hipbone?? Thats some power you have. Back to the MV, after more grabbing and thrusting we cut to Rain standing on the bed (in boots, on white sheets no less..) watching her sleep and then a truly poetic thrusting lunge with double fist clench before he almost explodes with some chest beating and cut to rain on a rooftop, doing the amazing air traffic control arms dance, and the song is building up again, meanwhile Rain is straddling the girl whilst singing into her face and then he/we/everyone climaxes to a high note, with Rain stripping off his sparkling vest and hat and ripping off his wifebeater revealing that coveted golden torso, and now with his vest behind his head we get a few more body rolls, and fists pummeling thighs ...

... and then finally, when we can take no more, introspective shirtless Rain looks down, and is done.


Whilst we all smoke a post coital celebratory cigarette and cool ourselves down I'll share with you a great quote from the man himself:

“For me, as compared to the effect for singing a hundred or thousand songs, the effect with just ripping my shirt one time is bigger.” source

True to his word, the epic finish has been recreated in every single live performance he's done (sadly mostly censored with a sleeveless bolero vest, except on MNET where they don't take offense to nipples apparently, GO MNET!) . Anyway I wanted you to know that Rain delivers.... again and again and again and again and again...

and again.

I'm so exhausted by my Rain analysis I can't even bring myself to talk much about "Hip Song" the other song he's being promoting, except to say remember I heard the beats of a "club banger"? Well I almost got one, complete with Rain rapping and oversize sweatsuits... I still listen to this one, although his wolf howl in cringingly awful compared to GD's.

So Rain cameback, he sang, he ripped his shirt off and he won on the music show and kept doing his adorable smile which came of somehow sinister with the lashes and the brooding:

This is what my computer looks like mid "research"

Since then no one can get enough of Rain, and he's been gracefully popping up on all the variety shows to witness all kinds of "Love Song" gags and parodies. Like this from SuJu's Shindong (please watch!) and this from comedian Park MyungSoo (after the Lee Hyori impersonation..).

Without a doubt, my favourite thing to come of all of this was the body roll / dancing otter comparison from Strong Heart (I kept the GIF just long enough to keep in the reactions, thats how I felt too, LOL) :

Currently I'm enjoying Rain's relatively sedate and charming variety appearances, as we all know (or a least I know, and maybe Jess has noticed..) that what I like most in my K-idol boys is "the gap", shirtless and thrusting one minute, eye smiles and a nautical white suit with boat shoes the next, well played Rain, well played.

- BUNNY

Back to basics

Recently, it seems that we may be on a bit of a promise with our original beastly idol, Rain. There are a few things he's been spouting of late, and there is no way I can leave them unattended and only half as appreciated as they should rightly be.

Making an appearance on Win Win, the ever humble Rain put forth, "I feel like I'm on top of the world because I've come to do my activities with lots of idol groups. I think I'm asking a great deal of you, by suggesting that I want to be called an Idol singer, so I'm trying to take more overtly sexual approaches."
So the wonderfully unpretentious singer firstly charms us with his demure, modest self-image, and then busts out possibly the best offering ever - Rain, possibly one of the most sexually alluring idols there is, is going to try his best to come at us with MORE overt sexuality. Wow, more than this:

Needless to say I'm ready and waiting for whatever he wants to try. I'm just so excited!!

Rain has also made some other pretty fab comments again concerning his image in relation to other idols: “I’m so happy to be promoting with so many idols. I can’t be called an idol but I will compete with them with my sticky image.” So now we can look forward to a 'sticky' Rain as well as an even more sexual one. This really will be a comeback to monitor.

Just to remind us all of what kind of multi-talented dreamboat we are dealing with, here is a little something that displays his multi-faceted concept of late. Namely, the Ninja Assassin brawn, shirt ripping stage antics, public wrestling (K-pop and wrestling, Bunny) and fresh faced interview complete with dance segment to showcase low slung dance moves/beating at heart.