Thursday 20 May 2010

Princes of Darkness?

Mere days after collating and lusting over some of K-pop's finest 'Angels of Death' I wake up to a whole selection of necromantic divination? The world of K-pop really has been pushing it's boundaries of late, right the way football mania to the dark side. I'm not sure if I even really know how to make sense of it all, or if it's even possible. Maybe I'll try my best to just enjoy it and not get the giggles too much - for you will soon see what I mean.

Really, this post has it's roots in the lack firmly routed in my afore mentioned entry. I talked about 'Angels of Death' and dared not include the 2PM zombies ofHeartbeat. What was I thinking, to leave a limp armed/conductor-esque(?) Junho out of the loop?


The only way I can explain it is by saying a) I saw these 'undead' beings as separate from the earthly gun crimes and brawls of my main subjects and b) they are just not that scary or threatening, even with Taec's screams. I mean no disrespect of course.
Not being able to really think of any other K-pop zombie/undead moments at that minute, bar this flash of Jaebeom through my mind

Photobucket

I saw it as a bit of an anomaly, and obviously a great one. But this is certainly no longer the case. So whilst making up for the Heartbeat lack of a mention, I will use this as a spring board into the mythical underbelly of K, dare you follow me.

First up, what really got my desperate to write this entry: BEAST. "BEAST goes topless" is the great news that I woke to at 6:30am this morning. Yes, I thought, YES. As I scrolled down the page it started off great. What a way to start the day, I reflected.

I almost feel bad for the other two next to Kwang.

But this perfect start stood started to loose it's firm and even footings...

Popping Dragon, I can handle the leggings with a straight face. I'd even go as far as to say I like them on you. But the rest? The necklace, tunic, MISE-EN-SCENE...

So, yeah, "Immortar", really? Viking-esque helmet, really? This wants so much to be black metal that it kills me, with laughter. Abbath and Demonaz Doom Occulta (Immortal) would be horrified I dare say. What on gods green earth made this photo shoot go Nordic?

And then back from the depths of the blackest metal to just plain gothic?

I take this chair to be some form of throne. And in this pose, I cannot help but share how much he totally embodies and resembles my own 14 years of age gothic crush or how much I looked like him at that precise time.

Don't get me mixed up, I'm in no way angry or resentful about this shoot. Far from it. I'm somewhat delighted. I honestly never thought there would be a time for parallels to be drawn between K-pop and black metal. But I'm am unable to wipe the smirk from my face, sorry boys.
As if this wasn't enough for one day, the K-pop would delivered again, two fold, in the form of 2AM vampires and SS501 'classic' look??

So, 2AM, you went for a "vampire" look, or so you say.


But I'm not sure it screams "vamp" at me, not after seeing BEAST so early on anyways. Jinswoon is kind of rocking it, of course, but Seulong looks as though he's not even participating in the shoot, let alone acting like a blood sucker, and Changmin looks a little like an oompa loompa with that hair. Again boys, this is not quite the serious prince of darkness poise I was anticipating. And even though Kwonie looks hot as hell, it seems his acting skills are letting him down a little.

I don't think the vamps suck on their own blood babes.

And lastly, to a group that I know little to nothing about, SS501. They have often caught my attention not least of all because they are each one a beauty, and they seem to be pretty prolific, but they just can't seem to hold it musically for me. And though this blog may be one of the shallowest ventures that I will ever have the bravery to own up to, I am not entirely a shallow person. I have to like the music, and that is that. I can have a real respect for the music, as with Big Bang or 2PM say, or it can just make me happy, I will cite UKISS here as a reliable source of joy. But SS501 I just can't dig. So when they tell me they are coming back to a "classic K-pop" sound, away from autotune(!) and heaven knows what other fantastic technology, I pretty much drew a line under them there and then and gave up. And then came the photos ---

The necklace, no wait, THE RING! Studded rings. What has the world come to! A claw ring I could maybe handle (Key (SHINee) kind of got away with one once, but not this!

Studs and spikes? I've already ignored one of these necklaces on Mir before (no I will not be reminding myself of this by reproducing any image here), but when pretty much the whole band is sporting them or at least a studded item of some kind, what is a girl to do?

I should point out, sporting one with a PVC hat! Yikes! What the hell. This is so much more George Michael than Marilyn Manson.


Studded ring mark 2, and coat. And these are not punk studs, no, this is a whole other ball park. Wouldn't want to leave out mention of the whip either...

But wait, what if you're in SS501 and you don't get studs or spikes? Oh that's right, you get a SCORPION across your face. Mother mary of god!


There's not even words I really have for describing this. It's like they picked the least attractive one of the bunch and thought they'd do him a favour by covering half of his face and distracting you away from the remaining half.

I don't know who I'm kidding though. These images may be a little giggle worthy, but there's no denying they pretty much still all look as hot as hell. I will certainly take gothic theatrics and black metal pistaches over football jaunts any day!

7 comments:

Kayleigh said...

YES! BATFACE!
Hey, don't you forget your beloved TOP and his absolutely reDONKulous duck ring. Don't pretend you don't know what i'm talking about young lady!
And, I have to disagree and state that SeulOng looks particularly dreamy...a little distant but incredibly distinguished.
My heart stopped beating as that Kwang picture scrolled into view.
But terror Taemin really is cleaning up his act these days. Did you watch the new 4minute video? B2ST are literally the best thing in it.

Jessica Jane said...

I'm glad you found it. It's kind of a hommage to us too.

As for T.O.P's ring, I wont deny it. But it's not for mentioning here. A duck is not prince of darkness. That will one day appear in a post with GD's smiley face gloves and other horrors.

Don't get me fucked up babes (voice of matt and george combined), I love Seulong and yes he looks hot, but he's barely even in shot. I was not doubting his beauty, just his vamp attitude.

As for terror Taemin, I agree. He's giving it his all. Shame about popping Dragon of late.
And yes, the 4 minute video. Hyuna look hot as hell, but that's about it. It's like half of them became bad 2NE1 impersonators - the CL fringe and glasses and Minzy bob... poor mans attempt. The songs not so bad though.

kayleigh said...

SeulOng has total vampish 'tude.
He's the cool, calm, collected one.
Like the main one in Twilight.
I think that duck might have been wearing some kind of eerie crown though.
I could be wrong though.

Bunny said...

What a post! What a follow up!!
I am loving the fact that the "darkside" is almost outnumbering football mania. We can never hope to make sense of these wonders, just revel in the moment, perhaps don some studded accessories and go with the flow...

Obviously so please to see heartbeat made it into round 2. I am particularly enjoying this second undead / fantasy / vampire chapter. I like to believe that Junho really does harbor otherworldly hypnotic power over the 2PM boys and can "conduct" them in their zombie form at his free will, to cater to his every whim with their limp dangling arms and stumbling zombie feet.

The first time I read this as "Taec's arms" rather than "screams" , works either way.

Ah batface Jaebeom, such a delight to see him on the blog, and also interesting how a one eye mono version of this make up is currently adorning Eunhyuk (SuJu) in his comeback look, and this will all get covered one day but if you're not familiar with Eunhyuk's striking teeth, then its almost as though Jay is doing an uncanny impersonation for you.

What a way to start the day indeed. Embarrassingly as I tried to show my boyfriend something online I had to click through several tabs I had left loading separately from my google reader, 2 counts of topless 2PM, 1 lot of topless Beast, 2 does of T.O.P, each in their own tab, waiting for my viewing pleasure. I felt like a dirtbag.

Also don't feel bad for the other Beasts, even next to Kwang I find myself looking at DongWoon and his scrawny teenage pigeon chest, DAMN YOU MAKNAE!

SOmething is so off about popping dragon in that shot, its like a game of consequences gone wrong with hair, eyes, mouth, top, skirt, legs and boots and none of them fitting together. add in the helmet. oh lord.

"imortar" LOL
How long do we have to wait for full on corpse paint in our k-pop??

I got way too excited by the idea of Seunghyun having a tail for some reason, and ever since I noticed he's not as feminine as I thought its make me pay him a lot of attention, but the fake nails.... sorry "claws" YIKES in the negative sense.

Seulong doesn't even look like Seulong?!! im confused.
actually all i'm thinking about is JinSwoon chowing down on my neck.

ss501 - I am so worried about this classic sound, and so SCARED by the scorpion on the face, bloody hell!

but bring on the whips and studs, BRING IT ON!

ps. im confused, I think I want a studded ring?!?! who am I???

Jessica Jane said...

Thank you! I'm hoping that there will be more on similar trending topics, if only the boys will put out. Here's hoping. Obviously in this fanatsy sector I left out the DBSK Visual Kei, but maybe I should have included Mirotic. Hindsight is a wonderful if sometimes annoying thing.

I too really hope Junho exerts himself over the boys...I wonder what the chances are.

As for Eunhyuk, I have totally seen it and had not yet put two and two together. Thank you for making this connection. Once again, like Thomas the Tank and Seob, this all makes perfect sence.

Your love for Maknae really must be strong if it can surpass Kwang's perfection. That is a rare thing - take it and run?

In terms of Croccin' Dragon, he is definately in my bad books right now. I've been watch B2ST MTV doc and he's such a doll faced beauty - why these recent sylizations, why?"

If corpse paint ever makes it to K-pop I could die then and there, at the moment of seeing, a happy person.

I can't believe I forgot to write about the nails. This was one of my main reasons for including that image, admit. TALLONS. Gross. Whoever thought of this needs the sack. It makes me feel ready to vomit.

It think it may be Seulong's hair that makes him look different? He's always a dreamboat in my eyes though.

The classic sound with NO AUTOTUNE!!! Piss off, SS501.


p.p.s. No you cannot have a studded ring Bunny!

Bunny said...

Although it doesnnt really fit into the category of darkside or fantasy, for some reason this ridiculous image of Max Changmin clutching onto a peacock keeps cropping up in my mind? have you ever seen it? i'll have to go on a hunt for it if not, its a "special" shot...

Junho extering himself over the boys... a way with words Jess, I praise you for it.

I'm still laughing over Yoseob the Tank Engine.

I'm not quite at ease with my love of Dongwoon, certain times I'm really not feeling it, but then he just catches me off guard and makes me ignore Kwang... I started on MTV Beast, 3 epsiodes down, and u'd say that things are up in the air, so we'll see how this all ends up,
Third episode was a no contest win in Kwangs favour, choosing between a cute boy who goes to school and hangs out with his dorky friends, and a a smoking hottie in glasses who hangs out on his own cycling round trendy shopping districts and scenic rivers wearing a cardigan... Kwangs in the lead.
And seeing Croccin' Dragon in doll faced perfection makes his recent crimes all the more distressing. At least DooJoon never changes, always 110% dreamboat.

Lets keep out fingers crossed for the corpse paint, for some reason I really want it to be Hongki who makes this happen?!

Ok no studded ring. I'm so glad I have you to put me in my place, I may be the Unnie but I seem to be the most susceptible to k-pop's evil ploys... I feel like i ve said this 5 times this week already, but keep and eye on me.

Jessica Jane said...

Bless this pop out comment box feature. Most of the time it really irritates me, but we just can't do away with it because it is the one way I can relatively discreetly reply to you from school, without having our perilous princes giving me away too fast. Thank god there is only one real English speaker in the room ever too. What would they think - especially after they how spoken with the elementary school and heard about my ipod viewing ventures, shower scene and all. Yikes.

Anyways, to the point. I'm not sure that I have seen the Changmin/Peacock shot, though for some reason it does ring some bells. Having written this I have just checked it out. In Non-no magazine apparently. HOT. What a dream boat. The pair of them, Changmin and the peacock that is, showing off their lovely sensual long necks.

Gald that you are progessing so well through B2ST MTV. DooJoon is indeed always 110%; I'd let him be my team leader anyway. And Croccin' dragon, why, when he was doing so well. Recently to, I have decided it is the make up that makes him look so puffy and jokingly mean, and obviously the bad hair choice too. I wont give in to it, especially as I comfort myself with the brief yet perfect appearances of him in the hyuna 'Change' video. But still. My heart wont wait forever. So they had better lighten up on the shadow and liner soon is all i'm saying. Kwang, Kwang, Kwang though, wonderful Kwang. How does he even exist? So beautiful and manly and handsome and cool and charming and successful, yet not even smug about it. Wait until you get to the chef's epsiode of Beast Almighty if you haven' already. The noise he makes at the end over terror taemin's shoulder nearly imploded my heart.

Hongki and corpse paint. Of course he will be the first. You got it SPOT on. Why will it be him - not even I know - but it will be him, of course it will. There's something about his face that tells it I think. He just looks so ready for it. And he would lunge around, crouching around in the trees with Jolie just out of shot. Soon Bunny, soon.

And really, the rings aren't so bad. The more I look the more I get over the aversion - aversion therapy? (I think this is happening with Seob too). But maybe it is still best that we stay away, retain some dignity. But I really am on no firm ground to say anymore.