Thursday 28 July 2011

Best Crossed Dressed. Dongjun needs your attention.

Here's one I (half) prepared earlier...

A few weeks ago this article entitled "Top 10 Cross-Dressing Idols" was brought to my attention.

Whilst I appreciate its subject matter, and I surely do, I feel their definitive list is somewhat lacking (I’m also going to ignore the fact that they placed Teen Top at number 9 for a very light attempt at cross dressing - wearing polka dot blouses with white skinny jeans does not count as an attempt to look like a lady, even when Niel was already 75% there, I need a better effort of cross dressing to be able to score them properly, Chunji and L.Joe in a dress before the end of the year please.. we've seen the high heels recently, its a start)

Here is my crucial addition to the list, ZE:A’s Kim Dongjun.

OK, ZE:A aren’t one of the biggest names of k-pop (and I don’t hold out too much hope that their recent comeback has changed that..) and its an easy amateur mistake to miss them off a top ten or a survey poll (or forget to invite them on your televised Chunseok Special) but if ZE:A has anything at all to give, something to keep itself in perpetual involvement with the k-pop world then it’s their maknae Dongjun. ok,ok credit where credits due, they also have Kwanghee and much as I may grow tired of his camera stealing grating plastic faces antics, I have learnt to appreciate or at least tolerate him. (the boy really is a life line for his bandmates, he’s flying that ZE:A flag single handedly at least 5 days a week) Anyway, Kim Dongjun, face of an angel, body of a (slightly short) Adonis, and voice of someone who has rightfully earned his place singing prime cuts on every single so far and in my humble opinion often has to carry his hyungs sometimes (metaphorically, although I bet he can literally too) with a solid vocal, or if not he can divert attention with some kind of impressive backflippery or a party piece handstand or something.

There are two reasons why Dongjun gets featured on variety shows and holiday specials and the first reason is SPORTS. The boy is great at sports, all kinds of sports, he was basically born to compete on Dream Team (family friendly sporting athletics based TV variety show that always includes a handful of idols), he’s an all round all star, of course we did not nickname this little bundle of sunshine “Sports Science” for nothing! I suppose now would be a good time to half explain that nickname, lets say for the sake of international readers who may be unfamiliar with the term, “Sports Science” is an academic subject you can study at school/college/university/whatever, basically its P.E / Phys Ed but you learn about muscles and biology and have to write stuff a little bit, I think, to grossly generalise it’s also the subject that jock guys and people who choose to dress in sportswear even when they are not actually doing anything sports related will typically study...

Whether its football, archery or tumbling, “Sports Science” will give it his best shot, and although he’s kind of showy about it, he’s no competitive Minho (CALM DOWN MINHO!) and is more the kind that will be happy to show you his skills on the spot if you ask him to, I really think he’s an ‘all about the taking part kind of guy” but it just so happens he usually wins anyway. At this years Idol Sports Day Dongjun excelled himself winning the sprint with this majestic leap over the finish line:

its like an angel in flight!

So to get back to the original point, there is something else that Dongjun excels in in contrast and that is dressing up like a beautiful girl. ZE:A’s first ever foray into variety shows was on a TV special back in 2009(?). The group pool their efforts, Kwanghee has yet to be discovered as the plastic prince of variety of comedy and so the best they can scramble together is a funny little song and dance in Hanboks, and some dodgy impressions, including Moon Leader A.K.A Mickey Yoochun II doing an impression of Mickey Yoochun, things brighten up with the arrival of Han Ga-In look-a-like Dongjun who comes out to the song famously used in Han Ga-In’s washing machine commercial. “1,2,3 bubble bubble”, fittingly my heart bubbled when I saw this vision in a red beret and the likeness is uncanny.



Its important to note that Dongjun is a regular winker (he can’t actually do it properly as you’ll notice his right eye always closes shortly after the left, like a slightly delayed blink, but whether he can do it properly or not is irrelevant, it’s a wink, a rariety of East Asia) I have no doubt he is using this skill as a sure fire Noona killing shot on a daily basis. I imagine after effects of it are basically impossible to recover from.


There is just something about this boy, he seems to have a bold confidence combined with a shy naivety and the ever endearing willingness to please... and as a boy dressed as a girl (and take this from someone who has studied so many before) it is a rarity for a sporty athletic muscled guy to look like such ridiculous beautiful perfection in the face. Usually muscles and drag ends up a whole lot more car crash, sorry Jinswoon.

After DongJun/GaIn has finished winking and reclining on the tables in front of his captive audience, he finishes, of course, with a lovely flip:


When they interview him a few minutes later, he is coy at first before an unnecessary awkward ‘manly’ shirt rip… he’d already blown us a way, I feel this was a step too far, or maybe it was just the cringe inducing delivery .. anyway, now I’ve mentioned it, I feel its my duty to include it.



Unnecessary shirt ripping aside, did you see his face??? Put a wig on that boy and the results are GOLD DUST.

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Actually, that wasn’t my first experience of Dongjun as a girl, there was something I saw before this, although it chronologically came later. Something I saw which was the very tipping point that made Sports Science catch my eye and earn himself a place a special affection. He had been in limbo before, that kind of mental limbo where you’ve noted a nice smile but you’re not letting them into your gang of “favourites” any time soon. Well that’s how it was, until this.



Sports Science, Infinite’s baby ghurl Sungjong (so pretty there were genuine questions about his gender pre debut…) and U-Kiss maknae Dongho (who also makes a fine young lady – if a little hunched.. and was also snubbed by the earlier list) perform as “Milk Caramel” at the 2010 dance battle (performing Orange Caramel’s “Magic Girl”).


"Ottokae" indeed! I was not ready for teen boys in fairy princess dresses, giant sparkling bows and Wellington boots. I was not ready to find myself keeping this image open in a tab for the next few weeks while I came to terms with this.


I don’t know how else to convey this… MINDFUCK.
and the winks, and the biceps and again, the flip… it kills me….

Dead.

Kim Dongjun, making people question their preferences since 1992.


1992... and I swear I didn't even used to go near the maknaes before this one...  oh dear oh dear ...

- BUNNY

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